Categorizing the Meat Section

I’ve been single for quite some time, by choice often, and sometimes by default or lack of takers. And yes, I have also been unfortunate (or fortunate in hindsight) to have had my heart broken. So, needless to say, I’ve been in the dating game awhile. From my years of dating, ditching, sidestepping and stalking (not on my end, mind you, I’m a lady!), I’ve come away with some very unusual tidbits that I wish to explore. Here goes…

In my experience, it’s best to take away with you the positive of any given situation, learn what you can, and either walk away gracefully and sometimes even run (stalkers require a sprinting away from…you know who you are and if you’re reading this, stop texting me!!). Bitterness never becomes anyone, no matter what the circumstances are. Now, that does not mean a dish session about the level or lack of maturity that ex-significant other should not occur over a glass of wine with your girlfriends. This is how we purge, recharge and get back on the horse. It’s necessary and often quite therapeutic. But, I feel that to understand the opposite sex, you need to categorize the meat, so to speak, so you can be prepared for the next entree that comes along. Organization is key when deciding the likelihood and probability of a positive meal. And sometimes nothing but time will tell, but this way, at least you can say you had an active choice in the matter. Or pretend you did.

To start categorizing, you have to begin with a clean plate. Preconceived notions and high expectations are a tell tale sign that you’re setting yourself up to fail. Projecting huge standards when you first order not only frightens your potential dish, but makes you anxious, especially if you’re not pleasantly surprised by what eventually gets put in front of you. Not to say you shouldn’t have standards of a quality meal. Everyone has things they can and cannot stomach, and you shouldn’t waver. Just because it’s something you’ve never tried, doesn’t mean you should belly up. If you’re willing to settle for grade F, so be it, but don’t compare it to Ruth's Chris, as you’ll definitely be disappointed. So, before you move on, clear the decks and dishes of any past meals you’ve not quite digested. It’s time for a new course, so have your palette clean.

Next, you must know the ingredients you are working with. For instance, if you start off with something that is bland, do not except it to magically spice up because you have entered the kitchen. You won’t suddenly wake up one day, having gone to bed with celery, and open your eyes to Cajun gumbo. People don’t magically change, no matter how masterful of a chef you are. And you shouldn’t expect them to. Sometimes you should just work with what you’ve got, or pack up your utensils and dine elsewhere. Having said that, you need to know what tastes good to you, what you crave, what will satisfy your taste-buds. All I’m saying is, if you’re in the mood for a filet mignon, don’t settle for a burger. Not to say snacking on something you’re not necessarily hungry for can’t be fun…hell, sometimes we eat for other reasons then hunger. But, if you’re looking for a main course, choose wisely and make sure it has the right seasoning. And garnish, for that matter. Because once ordered, to return it to the kitchen can be a disaster.

Another thing you must be on the look out for when delving into a new dish happens only after you’ve ordered. The undercooked dish. When first perusing the menu, you may find something that truly gets your mouth watering. You’re inspired even, cause you’ve been dining regularly for years and rarely found such a scrumptious delight. While reading the description, your mouth waters, you’re envisioning how tasty it will be, how fulfilled you’ll be once eaten. You order, and wait, munching on the appetizers they feed you to satisfy beforehand. These snacks often make you hungrier for the main course though, so don’t be fooled. Be cautious of how much you ingest before the real meal…it may give you a false sense of fulfillment. And when your main course is finally served, and you delve in, only to realize it’s not been cooked long enough, well, there’s no bigger disappointment. Sometimes meals aren’t meant to be served yet, and you’ve just interrupted the marinating process. Not only are you trying to gnaw on something raw, you’ll inevitably leave hungry. I suggest you send it back to the kitchen and order something else, or get the check. If it ain’t ready to be eaten, send it out to pasture.

Lastly, don’t ever, ever fake fullness. If the meal hasn’t satisfied, you should either never order it again, or try to talk to the chef about beefing up the portion. If you choose the latter, pick your words wisely, as chefs can be edgy about what they’ve prepared and may ask you not to dine again. IF that is the case, you must be ok with it, because that restaurant isn’t for you if your suggestions aren’t taken seriously. Everyone could use improvement, and unless you're just flat out picky, then compromise shouldn’t be unattainable. However, if upon re-visitation, you still leave hungry, I suggest you will loose much weight, and pride, if you continue to dine there. You ultimately know what will fill you, so why settle for a meager meal?
I hope I’ve shed some light on the dining process of dating…a metaphor I find highly effective and in my experience, extremely accurate. The cliché of a meat market really isn’t the point. It’s the do’s and don’ts of fine, and sometimes not so fine, dinning. Restaurants come and go, and you should try as many as it takes until you find the perfect main course. Order wisely, don’t be scared to try new things, and above all, be confident enough in yourself to send it back to the kitchen if it’s not working for you. Bon appetite.

Traveling Became Her

The suitcase lay half full on her bedroom floor, stuffed with her past trips and not quite full of her future. Why unpack? Traveling wasn’t a destination, but a constant, she needed it to propel her. Her bag lay agape, its tongue flapped open as if saying, “where to next?” Where to indeed. Sitting still didn’t sit well with her, didn’t fit her nature, and she became anxious when she stood still. How did she get here? Thinking back, she tried to pinpoint the exact date in time planning had consumed. They say you learn what you live, so maybe the lifestyle in which she was reared had turned her into this streak of going, going, gone. In all honesty, she loved it, and couldn’t imagine herself staying in one place too long. That night though, she found herself in between plans, with nothing consuming her evening, yet the door had just closed with her dusk. It wasn’t as if she feared aloneness, quite the opposite. Friends had always asked if loneliness consumed her, as she lived alone, did things on her own schedule, didn’t have a built in ear waiting to be filled upon key in door. But this was how she had built it. It was an active choice and she believed everyone had this option. Not to say she wasn’t envious of those who needed company, surrounded themselves with others. This want of contact hadn’t ever found her. It was this thought, this melody said perfectly by the Beatles song, Across the Universe, that settled with her that particular evening. “Nothings gonna change my world.” Not an absolute, but a way of life. Letting people in hadn’t ever been a problem. Her enthusiasm in general was coveted by most she came across. With so much to look forward to, so much to fill her days and evenings, she rarely seemed to want. Me thinks thou doth protest too much? Rarely, but still makes you wonder.

Getting the hang of it. Finally.

I’m going to try my hand at writing things down. I’m a writer, or so claim time and time again, hell, it’s what I spent four (and a half, dougggghhhh) years doing in college, so should have been writing all along. Life has gotten in the way. This is an excuse spewed out each time anyone’s asked, “what have you written lately?” Nothing. That’s what my true response should be. It would be the honest thing to say. But, that never crosses my lips. What I do say, to try and pacify the curious bystanders who want nothing more than to see I’ve not been wasting my words, well, I explain, with intricate detail, that I have in fact had no time, constantly on the move, packing my bags, out the door, dressing for the evening, day, week, next location. I’ve never been called out on it, except by the few other writers I’ve had the pleasure of collecting in my menagerie of friends. They call it like they see it, letting the air out of my over inflated tires. Busy shouldn’t be an excuse, but should feed the story and add to the inventory. I am (hopefully) done with the dishing of excuses. Writers write, right? So, I’m going to try and do just that. For myself, for the masses, for no one. And yes, I’m going to bug the crap out of you all to read it. So, you have that to look forward to. Look at me, here I am. Writing. Nothing. But, hey, it’s my first try at an organized collaborative. Give me a break.