One of my best girlfriends recently met an amazing guy. He’s incredibly intelligent, went to a notable college and actually reads (in a day and age where People and Star are considered literature, I’d say she’s hit the mother load) . Gainfully employed as head engineer on an environmental energy project, I’d say the man is fully equipped with shit togetherness. And he’s foreign, so the accent completely works (believe her undergarments dropped the second he opened his mouth). But to all the American lads out there, no need to fret. You don’t need an accent to drop drawers, just need to have all the rest. The accent just puts the sweet, sweet deliciously sexy icing on our fabulous cake. So to speak.
So, this foreign fellow happens to be amazing. Makes her laugh, can hold his drink (which to run in our circle, unfortunately, can be a deal breaker; can’t hang, can’t hang out with me), does interesting things, has a worldly view, surrounds himself with friends that are just as pleasing as him. He sounds great, and having met him a few times, can say with confidence, is. Problem? Cause there always seems to be one, right? He happens to be 5 hours away, with a full itinerary preceding the completion of his energy project that includes Latin America and possibly a move home to Ireland. Figures. Realizing the logistics wouldn’t work and the effort wasn’t being put forth, it ended and both persons went their separate ways. Filling up two more bar stools in the single scene.
I’m not sure what to think about the whole thing. In all honesty, what are the chances of you bumping into someone who has the criteria on your checklist, in your own backyard? Are we only limited to what’s within reach? Long distance isn’t that bad, right? Guess that would depend on how happy you are with your surroundings. People say that they’d move mountains to find the right thing or person or outfit. And I firmly believe in Life being a verb, so things will not just fall into your neighborhood, effortlessly (and you really shouldn’t bring your sex home if he happens to live next door…borrowing milk could get awkward if things go sour). What I do know stems from my experience with such things and while I’d never claim to be the wisest around, I am pretty levelheaded. Can call a Spade a Spade, although I try to name them differently, with nothing but pure hope to blame. Admit when I’ve done all I could do and walk. Without (much) looking back.
You don’t need to be a genius to figure out when someone has ‘Caution’ written all over them. It’s just easier to tell your friend than to have to tell yourself. It’s nice to think you want to give them a shot because your instincts could be wrong, or you just never know. Which by all means is an amazing way to Live…and frankly the only way I know how to. You do never know. But the signs are usually there. There are rumble strips to keep you in check, blatantly, and quite annoyingly, keeping you from becoming too comfortable in the rest areas. Thing that I don’t fully understand, is after all of these cautionary clues and foresight, why do some have such a hard time veering away from the jarring rumble strip, steering yourself back onto the road, and getting the hell out of dodge? Detours happen, but not to have the sense to realize driving this slow, or in these conditions isn’t working for you, to not try to find an alternate escape route? Life is too short to drive too slow on a gravel road that may lead to nothing.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Take two Asprin and don’t call them in the morning
The power of the written word is said to be extremely potent. When you see that statement, be it an insult, a compliment, an accusation, when it is staring you in black and white, it hits differently then it would be if said, I think. You get to chew it, let it fill your brain slowly, oozing in, get a second to process it. Then it coats you, seeps into your marrow and lies, maybe permanently. It’s powerful stuff. So powerful in fact, it’s absence, the nothingness that stretches oceans between you and that person who withholds the glorious ink, well, the non-responsive black and white devastates. The nothing; more powerful than a dismissive or hurtful note. It’s infuriating. And also extremely effective. Why is it that when we think of hurting someone, or wanting them to be hurt by our actions, or lack there of, do we finalize on spite? Most times only driving ourselves mad. The passive aggressive action of inaction always sends me reeling, not only because I have mastered and been dominated by it, but because it remains to be the silliest, inefficient use of our time, yet somehow always works.
They say out of sight, out of mind, but when something weighs so heavily on your mind, and then disappears, or is absent for some time, simply not there, that’s all you seem to think about. Obsession isn’t that far fetched. Coming from the most nonchalant person ever, this omission may come as a shock. But as a recent experience has led me to believe otherwise, it does seem feasible to me, on some levels. Stalking is never ok. Excessively repeat dialing and/or texting also remains in the things-never-to-do category. Unless there is a response, which due to the fact that obsession in what we’re discussing, usually a response is the one thing lacking, leave it alone if it doesn’t come home. But, how do we cut this poison out? This malignant growth that doesn’t have a choice but to magnify if we do not hack it out? Over-analyzing may be stereotyped as a chick thing, but I’ve come to realize (and observe), it’s a sickness that every person I know has. There are different stages of this illness, some easily controlled by one’s own rational, a quick ‘ok, enough,’ other’s so crippling, once you’ve come down with a case of it, you may find yourself in need of not only a swift kick in the head, but professional help. I find myself, most of the time, on the boarder of stage 1 and a not so healthy stage 2. So, what to do when this disease catches you? Nip it in the bud, at the head, so it does not consume. Here are some helpful tips:
1. If you find yourself coming up with scenarios that any normal person may define as excuses, you have over-rationalized a simple situation. It’s time to either confront or walk.
2. When out, pretending to not think about it, do not keep checking your phone. Not only does this deem you a hypocrite, you are fueling the fire you’ve claimed to put out. Leave your mobile at home. You’d be surprised at how freeing it can be.
3. When you say you’re done, truly be done. There is nothing so annoying as having to listen to anything proceeding the line, “ok, this is the last thing I’m going to say about it…” In keeping true to your word, you should stop there.
4. Make peace with yourself. Whatever has had such a hold on you, whether it be a spat, a relationship, a boss, a stalkee, you have rubbed the topic raw, exposed every possible angle and are left with the shreds. Time has come to hold your hand out the window and release.
Not all situations work themselves out. Anyone who has lived 5 minutes in the real world should realize this. Often times though, whatever the outcome of such scenarios, the ends justifies the means. Even if at the time, it doesn’t seem as much. You loosing sleep over something will not, however, make the inevitable happen any sooner. Overanalyzing things actually, when put in those terms, is quite narcissistic. Thinking you have a hand in, more often times than not, someone else’s decision? When you truly look at the topic at hand in this light, you…oh man.
They say out of sight, out of mind, but when something weighs so heavily on your mind, and then disappears, or is absent for some time, simply not there, that’s all you seem to think about. Obsession isn’t that far fetched. Coming from the most nonchalant person ever, this omission may come as a shock. But as a recent experience has led me to believe otherwise, it does seem feasible to me, on some levels. Stalking is never ok. Excessively repeat dialing and/or texting also remains in the things-never-to-do category. Unless there is a response, which due to the fact that obsession in what we’re discussing, usually a response is the one thing lacking, leave it alone if it doesn’t come home. But, how do we cut this poison out? This malignant growth that doesn’t have a choice but to magnify if we do not hack it out? Over-analyzing may be stereotyped as a chick thing, but I’ve come to realize (and observe), it’s a sickness that every person I know has. There are different stages of this illness, some easily controlled by one’s own rational, a quick ‘ok, enough,’ other’s so crippling, once you’ve come down with a case of it, you may find yourself in need of not only a swift kick in the head, but professional help. I find myself, most of the time, on the boarder of stage 1 and a not so healthy stage 2. So, what to do when this disease catches you? Nip it in the bud, at the head, so it does not consume. Here are some helpful tips:
1. If you find yourself coming up with scenarios that any normal person may define as excuses, you have over-rationalized a simple situation. It’s time to either confront or walk.
2. When out, pretending to not think about it, do not keep checking your phone. Not only does this deem you a hypocrite, you are fueling the fire you’ve claimed to put out. Leave your mobile at home. You’d be surprised at how freeing it can be.
3. When you say you’re done, truly be done. There is nothing so annoying as having to listen to anything proceeding the line, “ok, this is the last thing I’m going to say about it…” In keeping true to your word, you should stop there.
4. Make peace with yourself. Whatever has had such a hold on you, whether it be a spat, a relationship, a boss, a stalkee, you have rubbed the topic raw, exposed every possible angle and are left with the shreds. Time has come to hold your hand out the window and release.
Not all situations work themselves out. Anyone who has lived 5 minutes in the real world should realize this. Often times though, whatever the outcome of such scenarios, the ends justifies the means. Even if at the time, it doesn’t seem as much. You loosing sleep over something will not, however, make the inevitable happen any sooner. Overanalyzing things actually, when put in those terms, is quite narcissistic. Thinking you have a hand in, more often times than not, someone else’s decision? When you truly look at the topic at hand in this light, you…oh man.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)